Non-Manic Monday…

Sooo today wasn’t Manic it was just Petty!!! I feel like I work for the Student Counsel of the Beverly Hills wanna be High School. I’m trying not to make this a bitch fest but then I need get things off of my chest.

Like how do employers expect to have happy employees that want to stay and build their career within them when they clearly haven’t left high school behind them?

6 years is how long I’ve been with my corporation. I started at the bottom and am now in corporate purchasing. Big deal??? Nope! Great personal achievement but that’s all.

I truly work hard. I fill in for so many people. I do jobs that aren’t mine. Not a thank you not a anything. I’m told not to talk to certain people and the be quiet like a librarian shooshes her finger to you. I’m 35!!! Are. You. Kidding. Me!?

Is it crazy that at 2 this morning I laid in bed wide awake thinking of all the things I wanted to say to specific people at my job? Like man, it sounded so great. Like they wouldn’t know what to do if I went in and said exactly the truth and exactly how I feel.

Part of my frustration this morning was because my ex idiot Deric blew my phone up only to disturb my sleep and then tell me his was with another new girl. Like WHO CARES!!! Right??? I don’t! Ughhh I just wish he’d climb the tallest mountain and stay there with no cell service and become a cave man mountain man until the ends of time.

So not only did he piss me off, work has been an absolute cringe fest for me for a few months now.

I completely wear my thoughts on my face and I used to control it but now like sooo much- I don’t care. Like I need people to know and understand that it is NOT OKAY TO BE DICKS!!! It’s not!

Anyways, I don’t know what to do. My Granny always said you can’t quit your job without a new one in place but man, this place is wearing me out and almost daily giving me tears in my eyes.

#HelpWanted

Self Discovery Challenge Day 3

***This will be a 2-part Day***

What is my Fave thing to do when I’m alone…

When I’m by myself I typically either read, write or watch HGTV… Yep, I’m a little boring, LOL…  Today’s challenge wasn’t that great…

Okay, so the better topic today is PCOS and Assholes…

I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) when I was 16 years old. So I follow a lot of informative awesome pages on Instagram that discuss and post about PCOS.

Yesterday and the night before My Ex Asshole (Deric) decided it was time to harass me again. I cried a bit of heavy tears at the things he said then I was “good”. See, I having to retrain my brain and heart on how I see myself. After you hear things over and over for so long you kind of start to believe those things about you may be true even when deep down you know they aren’t you still question… As I was laying in bed scrolling through the “Gram”; I came across this PCOS post that just really had me thinking about those times my Gut said No Tricia, Stop Tricia, Don’t go down that road Tricia…

If you don’t know about PCOS- look into it. It is a very awfully complicated syndrome that you cant get rid or “heal” from. It GREATLY effects your Gut Health.

I wanted to blog so badly last night after I saw the post below;

Not only is it about my PCOS but it’s like legit REAL LIFE!!! Your Gut is so important in dealing with everyday life situations. See before I dated Deric, he pursued me for 3 straight years. My “gut” just wouldn’t let him catch me at all. I could tell by his mannerisms that the kind of “man” (using that word lightly AF) wasn’t the kind of Real Man I wanted or needed in my life. Then my heart kicked in… thinking maybe I was just being judgmental or too hard on him. I woke up one stupid day and was like “Heyyy football is on and I just made chicken wings, want to come over and watch the games with me, drink some beer and eat wings?”

That!!!! Was a mistake that I wish my brain had kicked it into high gear and became best friends with my “Gut” and saved me.

My “Gut Feeling” honestly was trying to legit save me so many times in those 3 years with him. Obviously y’all know what my point is on this but dang guys, this post hit home hard and it is so true! Your Gut is JUST AS important as your heart and your brain! Sometimes the Gut has to speak when the heart is blind.

Trust your Gut, guys! Like the heart doesn’t lie- nope… The heart can go blind but not lie but the Gut- it will knock your breath away, get butterflies and those “Stop” aches!

Lead with your Gut but Follow with your HEART!

“Follow reason, but don’t ignore that gut feeling.”
― Debasish Mridha

Truths to Me, Myself and Tricia…

you are beautiful

you are healthy

you are smart

you are loving

you are caring

you are admired

you are authentic

you are wanted

you are loved

you are perfectly and wonderfully made

you are not fat, a thot, a hoe, a cluck, ugly, disgusting, a liar, a cheater, a broke bitch!

YOU ARE THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF EVERYTHING THAT DERIC SAID TO YOU, CALLED YOU AND MADE YOU FEEL AND THINK!

Love & healing to all 🙂